GiftAssist Blog

Top 5 gifts for zombies

Posted on 07. May, 2009 by Rob Watson in Lifestyles

One of the biggest concerns with the looming zombie threat is what to buy your friends and loved ones when they join the growing masses of the undead.

It’s a big problem and i hope this post will help.

Lets first of all look at what characterises zombies.

• They love the taste of human flesh
• They don’t sleep
• They can’t talk
• Many have limb problems
• They have trouble using tools
• They don’t remember their family

Leghold Trap

All that chasing after humans can be hard work.

Treat your zombie to this excellent device, as used by humans for many years.

Just place it in a concealed location, near humans and wait.

Just be sure to warn your zombie to be extra careful when placing the trap. Any accidents could have a serious impact on their ability to hunt.

Zombie Survival Guide

Humans are using this book to learn how to defend themselves against their enemy.

Help your zombie stay ahead of the game by giving them the low down on what we know.

Only buy if you’re prepared to put in the time helping with those tricky words.

Phraselator Zombie Translator

Understanding zombies can be extremely difficult for both you and your zombie.

Communication between me and my children has massively improved since we bought this excellent gadget.

It was a touching moment when i first used this and heard my sons inaudible grown transformed into a crisp, clear “eat daddy”. A tear came to my eye before quickly placing him back in his restraints.

Digital Photo Frame Keyring

Zombies tend not to stick around at home, prefering to roam in search of a tasty brain.

So the classic fancy photo frame would be a bit redundant, without a mantlepiece to place it on.

With this gift they can carry their loved ones around where ever they go.

Since lot of zombies eat their loved ones upon re-animation, this gift could cause some emotional trauma. Best to do your research first, before going this route.

Buy them nothing

Hey, lets be honest. They’re not going to be buying you presents anymore, so why bother with them?

Sure, that’s not in the spirit of gift buying. But when the zombie war kicks in, it’s everyone for themselves.

Do you have any other ideas?

Cheers to Eric Ingrum for the awesome zombie photo

Tags: gifts, keyring picture frame, presents, traps, zombie survival guide, zombies