Well, it’s no joke. Ena Mallet, grandmother and lollipop lady recently gained her 7th Dan black belt in Jui-Jitsu.

A pretty impressive task for anyone, let alone someone in their 70′s.

To mark this prestigious occasion I believe a special gift is in order.

Something memorable like Sphereing

Clearly Ena isn’t your typical pensioner, so I think she is sure to get a huge kick out of Sphereing.

I definitely think she would love being strapped into the centre of a huge balloon, then taking a roll down a steep hill.

There’s no age limits, except for in Scotland for some reason, and since Ena is as hard as nails, I don’t think there would be any problem there anyway.

But what if you wanted to give a gift that mixed both her passion for Jui-Jitsu and helping children with road safety.

Surely there is no such thing?

Well, I recon with a little bit of ingenuity we could make the perfect gift.

May I present to you…. The Lollipop Naginata!

Now for those that don’t know, the Naginata is a weapon used by Jui-Jitsu black belts. It’s 2/3rds a staff, and 1/3 a sword. Since Ena’s lollipop is roughly 2/3rds stick and 1/3 sign I recon that with a little modifying, a switch could be pressed to release the sign, revealing the razor sharp sword.

Yep, I’m sure Ena will be made up with that one. Just imagine the face of the driver that messes with her!

A pretty monumental achievement by anyone’s standards.

So what exactly would you buy someone who has lived through 2 world wars?

Clearly Eunice is way past the years for adventure experiences and iPods, but reading her story one thing became clear.

Eunice has a lot of family.

I mean – one hell of a lot of family.

6 children, 17 grandchildren, 32 great grandchildren, 5 great-great grandchildren and 30 nephews and nieces.

Now, it’s gotta be hard keeping track of that many relatives, so I figured why not help her out?

So my idea is to get together a photo of every family member, along with a few words from each about what Eunice means to them, then put it all together in an album.

Sure, it would probably be a bit of a nightmare to organise, but that sort of personal gift is going to make one hell of an impression.

Despite the fact that there is currently no music playing and i’m squished between a bunch of other people, i have no intention of going anywhere.

The reason being, any minute now, I will be jumping to some high quality, rumbling electronic beats – all courtesy of DJ Annie Mac.

It was an awesome set and it got me thinking “If i was a friend of Annie Mac, what would i buy her for a present?”

Before i go into my ideas, here’s a (very) brief low down on Annie:

• She was born on 18 July 1978
• She presents 2 radio shows
• She DJs at clubs around the world

So here’s what i came up with:

Vintage Record Coasters

Vinyl is cool

Sure, it may weigh a ton and you may have to pay £10 just for one song, but there’s no DJ alive that wouldn’t confess to a love of vinyl.

Annie may stick to CDs when playing out, but these coasters, made from recycled records, are the perfect accessory for any music junkies house.

Keeping with the DJ theme…

Annie’s own Mix Tape Tote!

Throw in some beats, chuck in a bassline, add a melody or 2 and away you go!

Extremely cool and useful too. Can’t say much fairer than that.

Flower Ring

Judging by Annie’s Facebook photos it’s clear she is drawn towards colourful, modern jewellery that use bold shapes.

So how about this beauty?

Hand made from glass beads, they come in a set of 3, which you can wear individually or all together to create the chunky look you see in this photo.

Metallic Luggage Tags

Ah, the life of an international DJ.

London one day, New York the next, then summer in Ibiza.

With all this traveling it’s pretty important you have some good looking luggage tags!

OK. So it’s not as important as organising your currency, but it can’t be far behind.

Spider Catcher

If you follow Annie’s excellent Twitter profile you’d know she’d had some recent un-welcome house guests.

You’d also know her current spider catcher is no good at grabing the eight legged ones, once they reach the corner of the room.

So help a girl out here, with this – the worlds no.1 humane spider catcher.

Not sure Annie would fancy going up against an arachnid with a new weapon? Well , this one even comes with a plastic spider, so she can hone her skills before going into battle!

Update!

I sent Annie a message on Twitter to see if i got any of these gifts right. She replied:

“He’s good”

Read her tweet here