With his trusty metal detector he unearthed 52,000 roman coins, believed to be worth £1 million.

I don’t know a great deal about what goes on in the mind of a metal detector fan, but I imagine thoughts of digging up a small fortune must creep in there every now and then.

So this moment calls for a well thought out congratulations gift, or for the more cynically minded, a sucking up present! Either way i think I’ve found 3 beauties.

Psychometry consultation

Dave’s coins have been sat still under the ground since the 3rd century.

How did they get there? Who did they belong to? And what happened to their owner?

So many questions, but how exactly are we going to find answers?

Psychometry is where a spiritualist tells you facts about an object just by holding it. It’s pretty fascinating stuff and I’m sure Dave would love to know the back story to his find.

Coin display

A grand find like this deserves an equally grand display.

Sure Dave is going to be cashing in his coins at the first chance he gets, he’d be mad not to. But he’d be equally mad not to hold onto one, just for keeps sake.

This is going to be a life changing experience, it’s only right to mark the occasion with an item that can take centre stage in his home.

Metal detector sandals

Now that Dave has discovered this incredible treasure you might think he would want to hang up the metal detector.

But metal detecting is in his blood. It’s going to be a struggle to give up – what’s he going to do?

Well, fear not, for here is the perfect solution. With the metal detector sandals he can go for regular walks and still be keeping an ear out for more treasure.

Surely this must be the perfect gift.

Though any opportunity to look discreet whilst detecting might be ruined if all he does is walk up and down the same field all day. Because he never knows what he might miss.

Psychic photo credit to Steve Snodgrass

Dave Crisp photo credit to Daily Mail

Oh no, men’s new fixation with grooming goes far deeper than that.

So in the aim of helping you out there that might be looking to find a more unusual gift for your metro-sexual man, and to satisfy my own curiosity, I decided to track down some of the more fantastic things available.

Fancy taking a few years off your face?

The Tua Viso Hydro-Electric Facial Toner sends electric currents through your skin, kicking under-used muscles into life, making your face more toned.

If the reviews are anything to go by, this product seems to work pretty well. It will satisfy your mans desire to turn back time as well pleasing his ingrained fascination for gadgets!

Think the only men that would want to whiten their teeth must go by the surname Gibb?

Oh contraire. Teeth whitening is completely mainstream now.

The downsides are prices vary from £350 to considerably higher and you need to avoid coffee, red wine and curries, unless you don’t mind getting it re-done every 6 months.

So how about a Teeth whitening kit? Sure, it may not get your teeth any where as white as the full dentist experience, but perhaps that’s not such a bad thing?

You complete 100 sit ups and crunches every day and eat a decent diet – you’d think your abs would be popping by now.

Maybe all you really need is a little more toning to achieve that washboard that you know you deserve, god damn it!

Perhaps what you need is to smear some fancy, expensive gel over your body to get that extra tone.

So if you want to make an impression on those occasions that really matter, hot date or a beach holiday, perhaps you need Shiseido Abdomen Gel.

Or perhaps you need to stop messing around and step it up to 150 sit ups every day, slacker

76 out of 100 ladies like a man with a hairy chest – fact

Unfortunately that opinion changes dramatically when it comes to back hair.

Do you think any self respecting metro-sexual would be happy living with back hair?

I really don’t think so. But help is at hand. Luckily there are salons throughout the UK that will happily remove those unsightly follicles.

And here’s a list of a few.

But all this talk about teeth and abs feels like it’s skirting around the subject. There’s one part of a mans body that he cares about more than anything else.

Anyone want to guess what that might be?

Do you ever get the feeling that all this self improvement might not be really getting to the root of the problem.

Yep, every man wants a large schlong!

Funny things is, it turns out that it’s actually possible to achieve.

Sure you need to strap your little man into something that resembles a medieval rack and the video of your cells splitting really doesn’t reassure me one bit. But for those feeling brave, it could just be the ultimate extreme male grooming gift!

It’s especially worrying when they don’t know the address of the hotel.

So how about this for a solution…

Get the details tattooed onto their arm!

The tattoo lasts about 2 weeks and is a load cooler than having to wear illuminous wrist bands.

When I saw this I started to wonder what other cool & innovative ideas people had come up with to look after their kids whilst on holiday.

So here’s a few more I found.

So you find yourself a fantastic spot on the beach, nice and secluded and miles from the toilet.

Of course, it’s at this point that your little tyke decides they really need a poo.

No need to worry if you brought along your Shit Box.

Simply unfold, place in the bag and let them get it all out.

Sure, it might not be a comfy as a regular toilet, but it beats trying to squat behind a rock.

Worry about your kids wondering off, but they kick and scream when you mention them wearing reins?

Problem solved with this Monkey Backpack with Reins.

They get to pretend (or you get to trick them into thinking) they are giving a ride to their cuddly toy, whilst you can grab the tale anytime they start to roam a little too far.

It doesn’t hold a great deal, so you can’t turn them into a pack horse as well, but one benefit is enough for now I think.

Photo credit: andrew_mc_d

So what would happen if they found life? What would they look like? Would they be friendly? And more importantly, what gifts would we give them?

Yes, it’s a serious question. You want to make a good first impression on your new friends and you also want to show off the best of what the earth has to offer.

So where better to start than the finest in Chocolate.

It has no nutritional benefit, it doesn’t improve our fitness or intelligence. Chocolate is pure indulgence.

It’s the perfect introduction to the human race.

Including; Truffles, Thins and other chocolaty delights, the only way this gift basket wouldn’t be appreciated is if our alien friend doesn’t have a mouth.

As i’m sure you will agree, the only sport that matters on earth is football.

Therefore an official 2010 world cup football would make for an excellent introduction to the beautiful game.

Before long you will be kicking the ball around, sharing in the unifying qualities of football. Assuming you don’t get too caught up in the moment, delivering an aggressive, leg breaking tackle.

Perhaps this is one occasion where it would be best to let the other team win. Don’t want to be triggering any kind of hostilities so early on.

Fashion is a big deal on planet earth. It seems like this is something our intergalactic friend might like to share in.

So what better way to introduce them to the ways of fashion than the ever adaptable Scarf.

With 100s of different ways to wear it your new friend should be eternally grateful.

It is the versatile fashion accessory after all.

Entertainment is a big part of how us humans relax.

There has been many books, films and TV shows made that feature aliens, so this gift seems entirely appropriate to show our massive interest in their species. But which DVD to choose?

Perhaps one that best demonstrates the creativity of the human race?

Yeah, of course Avatar immediately springs to mind. But what if you decided to watch it together? Could you imagine the atmosphere in the room when the main human character starts having sex with the alien?

You thought it was awkward watching a sex scene with your mum and dad. This situation would trump that feeling, hands down.

That would be no good.

Far better to play it safe with a DVD of ALF. The classic 1980s tale of an alien living in perfect harmony with a human family.

If there was ever a program to show the possibilities of peaceful co-existance between species, it was ALF.

One thing that truly sets the human race apart from other creatures is our desire to own pets. So what better gift for our friends than a pet hamster?

But why not a Dog or a Cat?

Well, they don’t eat any where near as much food, they are also far less demanding.

But the killer reason for me is that you could have a custom made, pressurised hamster ball. So instead of the furry one instantly imploding, he could happily run around the surface of Mars in his own personal space pod.

So should the ExoMars exploration be successful, I hope my ideas might one day be some use!.

What do you think?

Photo credits to: Florian & Rkimpeljr

I read about Andrew Grady in the paper a few days ago – his is a great story. 13,000 miles, travelling through 16 countries with only a cheap tent for shelter.

Obviously that would be one hell of an journey, but it got me thinking what would be a good gift to get someone before they embark on a thumb fueled trip?

I think there are 3 main things that would make for a successful hitchhiking mission.

1. You would need to keep on the right side of your driver.
2. You need to be thinking about your own comfort and sanity.
3. Most importantly, you need increase your chances of getting a lift

So, to tackle the first.

What better way to keep your driver entertained than a head full of fascinating and amusing facts?

The QI Pocket Book of General Ignorance fits the bill perfectly. Designed for traveling light and packed full of snippets of wonder, it’s guaranteed to keep conversation flowing.

Who knows, with this weapon on your side, your lift might even take you to your door.

Keeping your driver entertained is all very well, but you need to be equally sure your not repulsing your ride.

Lets be honest, if you are thumbing down lifts and sleeping in a tent it’s probably safe to say you might be developing a fair hum. Therefore a good supply of Deodorant is going to be an excellent gift.

There nothing more likely to get your driver suddenly saying he “can’t quite take you as far as I promised” than a strong smell of BO.

Considering keeping your traveling companion sweet is the best way to get to your destination, avoiding smelling like a sweaty tramp has to be a must.

Just on the off chance that you do happen to strike hitch hiking gold and you find a driver who is willing and able to take you for good stretch, it makes perfect sense to be prepared.

Since you might be spending many hours in cars and the opportunity to sleep will become something you have to grab where ever possible, an Inflatable Pillow could really become your best friend.

Getting decent sleep will be the best way of keeping your spirits high and that has to be essential when you never really know when your journey will end.

During your journey there will be many hours waiting for the next lift to stop.

Obviously your iPod will be there to keep you company, but that poses the very serious problem of what you’re going to do when the battery dies?

Meet the solution. The Solar Powered Charger.

You need never be left with only the sound of passing traffic to keep you company. So you can continue to listen to your favourite music, keeping your spirits up whilst the you wait for that next generous soul.

So what do you do if no one is stopping?

Well in these occasions desperate times can call for desperate measures. Time to start faking it with…

A set of Crutches

The sight of you hobbling slowly alongside the motorway is bound to draw plenty of extra gazes. Surely one of those people will feel motived to help out someone who is clearly in extra need?

Now it goes without saying that you will need to keep up the pretense and have a pretty good explanation for your sticks. But if you can handle the deceit, you could be at your destination in no time!

So, if you know anyone like Andrew Grady who is planning a trip on the cheap, then do them a favour and make sure they are fully prepared!

So here it is, my Friday Drive Home Mix.

20 minutes of audio pleasure, to help you shake off work and get primed for the weekend.

It’s a fair sized file, but you shouldn’t have to wait too long before it gets going.

Please download it here. (right click and choose save link, otherwise it will just open in a new window)

Don’t forget to tell me what you think of it.

Enjoy!

Tracklist (for those that like to know)

1. Red Astaire – Follow Me
2. Fontella Bass – Rescue Me
3. James Knight & The Butlers – Save Me
4. The Quantic Soul Orchestra – Get A Move On
5. Beck – Beercan
6. 4Hero – Hold It Down (Bugz In The Attic remix)
7. Freestylers – Dogs And Sledges
8. Orbital – Impact
9. Leftfield – Space Shanty

It’s a big problem and i hope this post will help.

Lets first of all look at what characterises zombies.

• They love the taste of human flesh
• They don’t sleep
• They can’t talk
• Many have limb problems
• They have trouble using tools
• They don’t remember their family

Leghold Trap

All that chasing after humans can be hard work.

Treat your zombie to this excellent device, as used by humans for many years.

Just place it in a concealed location, near humans and wait.

Just be sure to warn your zombie to be extra careful when placing the trap. Any accidents could have a serious impact on their ability to hunt.

Zombie Survival Guide

Humans are using this book to learn how to defend themselves against their enemy.

Help your zombie stay ahead of the game by giving them the low down on what we know.

Only buy if you’re prepared to put in the time helping with those tricky words.

Phraselator Zombie Translator

Understanding zombies can be extremely difficult for both you and your zombie.

Communication between me and my children has massively improved since we bought this excellent gadget.

It was a touching moment when i first used this and heard my sons inaudible grown transformed into a crisp, clear “eat daddy”. A tear came to my eye before quickly placing him back in his restraints.

Digital Photo Frame Keyring

Zombies tend not to stick around at home, prefering to roam in search of a tasty brain.

So the classic fancy photo frame would be a bit redundant, without a mantlepiece to place it on.

With this gift they can carry their loved ones around where ever they go.

Since lot of zombies eat their loved ones upon re-animation, this gift could cause some emotional trauma. Best to do your research first, before going this route.

Buy them nothing

Hey, lets be honest. They’re not going to be buying you presents anymore, so why bother with them?

Sure, that’s not in the spirit of gift buying. But when the zombie war kicks in, it’s everyone for themselves.

Do you have any other ideas?

Cheers to Eric Ingrum for the awesome zombie photo