He’s a hyper tense, manically depressed hotelier who regularly harasses both staff and guests.

If anyone needs cheering up with a gift, it’s Basil Fawlty.

So, what do we know about this delightful man.

• He’s very xenophobic.
• He’s very angry.
• He wants to belong to the upper classes.
• He fights a lot with his wife.
• He’s tight with his money.
• He doesn’t much like other people.
• He frequently physically abuses Manuel, as well as the odd hotel guest.

It’s going to be a challenge to find a gift that might stand a chance of making Basil happy. Well, here goes.

The Little Englander’s Handbook: A Xenophobic Guide to Europe and Johnny Foreigner

Do you think Basil would find a collection of swipes at the rest of Europe amusing?

Yeah, i recon he probably would.

Since he frequently goes out of his way to weaken diplomatic relations, i suspect this would be right up his street.

Punch Bag

Taking your anger out on your staff and guests really isn’t good for business.

But there’s no point trying to hold it in either. That anger needs an outlet.

Next time Basil senses the red mist roll in, he can excuse himself, go into his office & pound the hell out of this – the ultimate stress reliever.

Fake degree from Oxford university

Basil is obsessed with appearing to be upper class.

So what better way to achieve this than have his own Degree certificate from the UKs most prestigious university.

I can just imagine him proudly displaying this behind the check in desk.

Though I’m not sure which course he would have studied. I don’t think they do a degree in cynicism.

Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent

No doubt there will be an element of denial from Basil with this book, but once he’s got inside he’s bound to find a kindred spirit.

Stories about traffic wardens, football referees, soap operas and all sorts of other things that wind up grumpy old men.

Essentially, it’s a book for people that like to moan.  A lot.

Tight Git Wallet

Clearly holding onto his money is important to Basil. Why else would he employ Manuel?

This gift will probably not go down too well with Mr Fawlty.

But at least you can enjoy the seeing the reaction on his face!

That’s my lot. Let me know if i’ve missed anything out?